Terms and Conditions
Last Updated: August 7th 2025
Welcome to Shifty Tools (“Company,” “we,” “our,” or “us”). These Terms and Conditions (“Terms”) constitute a legally binding agreement between you (“you,” “your,” “user,” or “visitor”) and Shifty Tools regarding your access to and use of our website, www.shiftytools.com
By visiting, accessing, browsing, or using the Website, you acknowledge that you have read, understood, and agree to be bound by these Terms. If you do not agree, you must not use the Website.
Eligibility and Acceptance of Terms
By using our Website, you represent that you are at least eighteen (18) years old or the age of majority in your jurisdiction and that you have the legal capacity to enter into these Terms. Shifty Tools may update or revise these Terms at any time, at its sole discretion. Updates become effective immediately upon posting.
Nature of the Website and Content
Shifty Tools is presented as a provider of digital products and software tools. However, for the avoidance of doubt, the Website is intended for entertainment and parody purposes only. No actual products, services, or licenses are being sold, offered, or delivered through this Website. Any references to “Products,” “sales,” “purchases,” “licenses,” or similar terminology throughout these Terms are purely satirical.
Orders, Pricing, and Payment
The Website may display descriptions of digital goods, pricing, or references to transactions. This content is fictional and provided solely for humorous purposes. You can pay for the fictional tools and services, but you will not be receiving anything you scamming piece of shit.
Delivery of Digital Products
References to delivery of goods, downloads, or email fulfillment are satirical. No actual files, products, or services will be provided.
Refund Policy
All “sales” are considered final. Since no goods or services are provided, there is nothing to refund. This policy is included for parody purposes only.
Intellectual Property
All Website content, including text, graphics, and design elements, is the intellectual property of Shifty Tools or its licensors. The parody nature of this Website does not grant you any rights to reuse or distribute content beyond personal, non-commercial enjoyment.
Disclaimer of Warranties
All Website content is provided on an “as is” and “as available” basis. The Website disclaims all warranties, including but not limited to merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, or the expectation of receiving an actual product. By using this Website, you acknowledge that it is a parody site and not a functioning commercial platform.
Limitation of Liability
To the fullest extent permitted by law, Shifty Tools shall not be liable for any damages, direct or indirect, arising from your reliance on the satirical content presented on this Website. Since no transactions occur and no Products are delivered, your use of the Website is purely for amusement.
Governing Law and Jurisdiction
These Terms shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of Alabama, United States of America. Any disputes, though unlikely, shall be subject to the jurisdiction of the courts located in Alabama.
Termination
Shifty Tools may suspend or terminate access to the Website at its discretion.
Severability
If any provision of these Terms is deemed invalid or unenforceable, the remaining provisions shall remain in full force.
Entire Agreement
These Terms, together with our Privacy Policy, constitute the entire agreement between you and Shifty Tools concerning the Website.
Contact Information
If you have any questions, or simply wish to acknowledge the parody nature of this Website, you may contact us at: fuckoff@gmail.com
-Shifty Tools